Is a little dove too much to ask?

The bathroom at my work is a serious problem. Serious.
Problem 1) One morning about a year ago, I saw a three inch long cockroach creeping on the counter. I ran straight outta there and held it the rest of the day. Problem 2) There are two stalls for the ladies and one of them is a large handicap stall. Most people don’t realize that the lock on the door of the large stall doesn’t really work. I always use the small stall. Twice, I have been washing my hands when the door to the large stall swings open and I have to watch one of my colleagues scrambling with their pants down on the pot. Talk about awkward. That’s why I always use the small stall. Problem 3) The soap. It is hot pink and it smells like a campfire. No joke. I think the cleaning crew drops liquid smoke in there just to play with us. My hands smell like camping all day - Trust me I am far from any campfire. Problem 4) Hair. There are huge chunks of hair all over the place. I think someone is coming in early to replace their weave at the bathroom sink. I don’t like that. It makes me sick.
I think this is enough on the subject. It’s making me sad. And there are so many reasons to be happy:
It’s Tuesday
Thanksgiving is just around the corner
My husband is hot
I don’t have to wait in a long line to vote
Ben and Jerry’s is giving away free ice cream from 5pm to 8pm tonight
My sister is having a baby girl
I’m not having PB&J for lunch today
The air is cool and crisp
I live right above a grocery store
I am well rested and feel like a tiger