Saying goodbye.

It was a long drive to St. George, but I just couldn’t bear not to go. I felt like I needed to be there to help close the chapter on what were some of the happiest days of my life. My Great Aunt Nen passed away, and with her exit, the memories came flooding back…

Those carefree summer days with my siblings at Bud and Nen’s cabin – kinky curls and acid wash jeans. Cucumbers in vinegar, grilled burgers and deviled eggs. Collections of peculiar clocks, dusty old toys, and hand stitched quilts. Sitting round the table playing hand and foot with Nen. Uncle Bud watching with a toothpick dangling from his mouth. The smell of pine. Feeding birds sunflower seeds on the shaded deck. Dune buggy rides on dirt roads. Hours of playhouse make believe. No worries, nowhere in particular to be.

The flood of memories left me feeling nostalgic and bittersweet. Although the cabin was sold long ago, and we’ve all grown up and moved along, I can’t help but feel like Nen’s passing was the end of an era. What I wouldn’t give to spend a day with Bud and Nen at the cabin with my own children and husband. Or, to be ten again, in that old blue dune buggy, hair whipping in the wind, not a worry in the world.

I’ll miss Nen. I’ll miss her calls and her perfect crocheted blankets. I’ll miss reminiscing with her about our days at the cabin. Saying goodbye isn’t easy. But for now, I’ll do it, knowing that it’s only temporary. I am thankful for my faith and I’m thankful for the confidence that she’s reunited with the ones she loves the most. Until we meet again.